Miscarriage is one of the most difficult losses to talk about. How do we talk about losing someone no one has ever seen? Are we still moms if our children are gone before having come into the world? Should friends and family mention the baby and the loss?

I wrote this song after hearing a friend tell me about her miscarriage. Heartbroken after hearing her story, I sat at the piano and spontaneously wrote the song. It is my raw, authentic response to the devastating loss.

The theme for the song is a take on the Negro Spiritual, "Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless CChild", which deals with the feelings of being lost in the world without a mother. My song deals with the flip side of that situation by addressing the question of what it feels like for a mother to be alone in the world without her child.

I'm intentionally releasing the song during Women's History Month in order to raise awareness of the grief so many women are experiencing.

Lyrics

“Mother Less Child”
By Allison Upshaw and Dana Rice
Copyright 2014

Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child.
Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child.
Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child
A long way from home

I barely made it to the bathroom before I felt a big gush on my inner thigh
It didn’t run down my leg, so I knew
I didn’t want to, but I did
I wiped

I sat on the toilet, tears streaming down my face
Looking at it, she, he
It looked like a miniature white salamandar
With completely round black dots for eyes

I couldn’t touch it though
I just stared
I stared at she, he, it
Knowing that this would be my last encounter with a child from my womb

I stared. I cried. I didn’t know what else to do
Did I put it, he, she in a shoebox?
Where would I bury my shoebox?
Did I even have one?

I sat on the toilet and cried
Harder, harder, harder
I didn’t know what else to do so I flushed
It was 1991 and though I didn’t know it I had been pregnant for the first and last time

Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child.
Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child.
Sometimes I remember I’m a mother - less child
A long way from home.
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